be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
