can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize