i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
