like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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