So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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