You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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