hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize