mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
