I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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