Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Boobs speak an international language.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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