did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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