have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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