i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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