He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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