U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
