I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
