Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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