walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
