The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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