I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
