I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize