So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
