I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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