the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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