not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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