I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
