im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
