we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
