i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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