Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
