Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
