dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize