come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize