let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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