yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
