apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I have tasted many bathrooms
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
