I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
