I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
