I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
