So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i think i have herpe
just one?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
