My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
whose parrot is this?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
