So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize
