Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
How does one acquire holy water?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
