Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
