we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
