I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
