Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize