Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
