they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
No subtext here. People are naked.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
