We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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