I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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