Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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