Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize
