i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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