420 ftw
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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