I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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