weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
