he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
