so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
