Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
