is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
