trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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