i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
